(Photo via Inspirational Motivational Quotes)
Time: 5 minutes 50 seconds
In a Nutshell
What are the 3 words or adjectives you can use to reach your goals and “actually” be happy? What are the 3 words that can help you find the right feeling? Learn more about how the right kinds of words can help you reach the goal you’re really looking for.
Transcript
Sunny here, the Shinobi Career Coach and today I’m going to talk to you about the three words you’re willing to use to help guide yourself in the new year, or for whatever project you have been working on, or whatever life goal that you’re after specifically. It really comes down to this whole thing of goals, goal setting. Oh it’s all very nice and all, and you know, it’s like I’m going to do this, you’re going to say you’re going to do this, what’s that thing look like? What’s the vision of it look like?
Are You Missing the “Feeling”?
And I was just reading an article by a life coach named Martha Beck and she talks about the fact that you always describe your goals and you visions in terms of nouns and verbs. Which is all very great and all, except you achieve that and that’s not what you’re really wanting. It turns out, you know, you’re working harder than you expected, and what you actually thought was success is really some sort of nightmarish hell. What it ends up being is that you didn’t use an adjective to best describe it or to describe what that vision feels like to you.
So the nouns and the verbs are the descriptions, it’s the canvas, it’s the painting on it. What do you feel when you see the canvas, when you see the painting, when you see the strokes and the brushstrokes on that canvas in your goals, in your vision? Martha makes a good point. I really [think] that it’s just an interesting way of describing it, using nouns, verbs and adjectives as a kind of magic spell in her article.
The reality is it’s just that the goals weren’t as clearly defined as they should have been.
Go Deeper Than Nouns and Verbs
So if you’re out on your job search or being an entrepreneur or whatever, and you think to yourself, I am going to help 999 people start a new business or something that like. Kind of like my goal of I’m going to try to help 999 people find the job or path they were meant for. That is all very much a noun and a verb. What is it that you feel, what is it that you want to feel when you achieve that goal? And if it’s not the right feeling, then maybe that’s not the right goal or the right way to say that goal in the first place.
And so Martha talks about describing it with adjectives and three specific words, like strong, healthy, vibrant, something like that. And it could be healthy, free, and independent, if that could be a good description.
Those three words describe the feeling and that to me, is the true essence. Not that the goal was badly described, it’s just that you didn’t give your goal and the vision the “detail” or “deepness” you really wanted. You didn’t connect yourself with the feeling.
You want to feel happy, you want to feel free, you want to feel wonderful, you want to feel healthy or you want to feel strong.
And that is what the core essence of really using adjectives, according to Martha, in order to establish a true goal behind the vision and the statement specifically.
So if you said you really want to feel strong, you want to feel healthy, you want to feel free, you want to feel at peace. Those are the three goals. So in a way, Martha Beck is really describing trying to find the true [emotional] goals that you should be after, not [just] the apparent vision of the goal, but the actual [emotional] goal itself, which we always think is just a vision.
[Say] it’s to help 999 people start a new business. And yet what do you really want to truly achieve [and "feel"]? Is it the feeling of success, the feeling of actually feeling good, feeling like you were helpful, something like that, or something more descriptive, again, it depends on who you are.
And that’s the thing, using three words to describe the feeling, to help you find the feeling. And you have to sometimes go back and change it again, kind of like any goal that doesn’t quite make sense [to you]. Is it the adjective that describes the true goal, the true feeling you want to achieve with that vision.
What Are Your Three Adjectives?
So give yourself a chance, think of the three words, the three adjectives that you are truly aiming for in your visions, in your life, in your job search, in your current job. Chris Brogan talks about this as well. I think Martha Beck is on the dime when she talks about finding the feeling. Realizing you’re really aiming for is the feeling. That is the goal, it’s the feeling.
And if you’re missing that feeling, then you’re not really achieving what you’re truly after by just stating what you see yourself doing. You must also state what you feel in the future vision as well.
So write down three words and keeping writing them down until you find the three that really help you to find the true feelings, the true goals that you’re actually aiming for.
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